Because Jeremiah

The word pragmatic sounds ugly doesn’t it? I always thought so. It reminds me of gray metal filing cabinets, organized with little colored tabs that say Electricity, Gas, Investments. It also reminds me of the path of least resistance, of doing what is practical all the time.

So what does it really mean?

(From Vocabulary.com)

The opposite of idealistic is pragmatic, a word that describes a philosophy of "doing what works best." From Greek pragma "deed," the word has historically described philosophers and politicians who were concerned more with real-world application of ideas than with abstract notions.

The part of this definition that speaks the loudest to me is “doing what works best”.  Jeremiah and I together work best. We knew it at the inception of our relationship when certain people in our lives tried to influence the outcome of our togetherness.  We knew it when their interference drove us closer together.

I am all feelings. I often “feel” myself into a slew of unproductive hypothetical laments. In my need to make Jeremiah more real to me, I would babble in a frenzy about all the “what ifs” that could have led us to a different outcome…what if our “friends” had succeeded in their interference? What if all the things they accused me of had driven him away? Jeremiah is sure and tangible. He didn’t ponder these things. He would respond to me with practical, comforting answers like (I paraphrase), I am not easily influenced or I wouldn’t be the person you were meant to fall in love with if that was the case.

In his mind, he loved me and the only logical thing to do with his feelings was to focus on our relationship. I didn’t make it easy on him; he swam against the current of my depression and anxiety. I didn’t feel that way all the time but the uncertainty of a new relationship made me a bit nuttier than usual. In the early days, I was always testing him. I suppose it was my way of asking, how much trouble am I really worth to you?

Then one day, I understood him and I no longer feared I would lose him. I trusted him.  He hadn’t been wrapped up in fear over what may or may not happen with our relationship. He didn’t fear the other shoe dropping. He didn’t care what others thought. While I nursed the selfish nucleus of my experiences, my doubts, and my fear of what others thought of us, he was busy laying down the foundation for us, making sure he was always there for me, then and now.

And I chose to do the same, not without my personal struggles, but I still chose us. We both brought necessity . We both had a lot to offer each other. Jeremiah is patient and good at everything that matters; taking care of things around the house, building things, car repairs, setting up electronics. I am good at a different kind of everything; planning, creating, organizing, staying on top of things that need to be done, remembering.  When we merged these strengths together, we became a sort of superforce. We grew unstoppably together, stubborn and determined like a trumpet vine.

Jeremiah and I work best because of what we have in common and we last because of the way we respect and respond to each others emotional climate. Pragmatic. Perhaps that word does sound boring but to see it applied to something…like when two people do what works best when it comes to something as unruly and wildly subjective as love…that is perfect.