The Struggle of a Sometimes-Extroverted-Introvert: My 40th Birthday

I'm in the process of mentally preparing myself for the 40th birthday party my husband is planning for me. It has my stomach in knots. I can be outgoing, talkative, and witty when I'm comfortable but it is typically on my own terms.  The idea of a party in my honor that excludes me from my terms is like slow torture in which I have no choice in the end but to thank my sweet, well-meaning husband for his torments, er, I mean efforts.

I just finished reading a blog post called, 'The Introvert's Hate/Hate Relationship with Spontaneity' and it spoke to my very soul. Particularly this:  
"I wanted to tell them the truth, but can you imagine what they’d have said? “Oh, thanks for the invite guys, but I’m an introvert and I can’t stand being spontaneous. Maybe another time, assuming you give me seven days notice in writing.”I didn’t avoid nights out entirely; I can be quite a social character when I want to be. I just made sure that I was mentally prepared beforehand. I’d agree (with myself in advance) that I was going out on a particular night, and I made sure I spent plenty of time alone in the afternoon or early evening to recharge my batteries ready for the oncoming festivities."

Some of my friends and family might be surprised to learn that truth about me. And with good reason...a couple of drinks and being with people I love and respect tends to bring out the most in me. I CAN be a ton of fun when I have time to prepare for it and as long as I'm balanced out by the downtime I  need after a big night out.

There is a party in my honor that is happening. I can't bow out and I can't be the behind-the-scenes event coordinator that hides in the kitchen and prepares food while the merriment thrives around me. I have to be to be gracious and prepare myself (which may surprise people) for being the center of attention. It feels difficult for me right now. Overwhelming. I have time though and when the day arrives, everyone will get the best of me. Even if I have to 'fake it till I make it'.

Musikfest 2017 in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania: 13 Years of Festing and Counting

I went to Musikfest in Bethlehem, Pa for the first time in 2005. My husband Jeremiah and his family had been going for many years and he invited me to go with him which was a big deal for me since this meant I was going to be meeting his family and friends for the first time. We had only been together a few months and my nerves were a bit on edge as I fumbled to put together a gift basket to thank his parent's for hosting me in their home for the entire weekend.  I had no idea what to expect but 13 Musikfest's later, here I am...still sharing the experience with our now combined families and friends...still sharing it with Jeremiah...and for the past 9 Musikfests, sharing it with our son, Jonas too.

So what is Musikfest? It is a free outdoor festival with tons of music (over 500 shows on 14 stages over 10 days), giveaways, street performers (pterodactyls on stilts, anyone?) and fun tents where you can buy one-of-a-kind wares or try the latest video games or virtual reality. While you can do 90% of everything Musikfest for free, save up some money and your appetite because the food selection is very unique, diverse, and delicious.

The Musikfest grounds are extensive and there is a North Side and a South Side with shuttles available to take you from one end to the other. While both sides have fun and music to offer, my family and I are die hard South Siders. Fun fact: Stages are called “platzes,” an homage to the city’s Germanic heritage (platz being German for “place”)

Musikfest 2017  was as fun as it was exhausting! We went 7 out of the 10 days of the festival and hosted various guests (mostly my family) throughout the week. I put together some photos that capture my favorite moments of Musikfest, so enjoy!

Parenting Musikfest-style (notice our mugs, we pick one up every year and have quite the collection)

Spending time with our parents, families, and friends is the heart of the fun

Come hungry! This isn't your typical festival food.

Eat your way through Musikfest!

Meeting an ostrich and zip lining are part of a typical Tuesday night at Musikfest

Street performers-pterodactyls on stilts are one of many attractions roaming the extensive festival grounds

Music and dancing

 

 

Jonas loved playing outside, trying new things, and living his own adventures

A giant game of Jenga and this pic of Jer were the perfect start to a week of festing

Game of Thrones Season 7: Episode 1 "Dragonstone" (SPOILERS)

*SPOILERS* The first episode of Season 7 was a great set up and didn't disappoint with the amount of character coverage. There is not a lot of time for filler with two shorter seasons left, so the bar is set high for the quality of writing we should expect from this season. This episode wasn't groundbreaking but it was a fast paced, well written, and a perfect ending to the long drought between season 6 and 7.

Riverlands: We begin with Walder Frey-Arya. Somewhere between baking Walder's sons into pies and slitting ol' Walder's throat, Arya decides she will hang out for a few weeks with Lord Frey's face on in order to slay the rest of the Frey's who were instrumental in the orchestrated murder of her mother and brother at the Red Wedding. After delivering a speech to the dinner attendees about the danger to the sheep if you leave one wolf alive, she reminds them of their crimes to her family as the men start to feel the effects of the poisoned wine and begin dying around her. At this point Arya takes off Walder Frey's face and leaves Walder Frey's young wife and two serving girls to survive ordering them to tell everyone that the "North Remembers" and "Winter has come for the Freys". The Freys suck so much that we applaud Arya's vengeance and let her psychopathic behavior slide.

Arya is on the road again and I have given up on trying to figure out the travel timelines in the show since it isn't cohesive at all.  Trying to puzzle it out creates more gaps than it does answers so let's just assume there are major time lapses that occur between story lines and we are being spared the tedious details of getting from point A to point B. Arya runs into Lannister soldiers. Ed Sheeren's cameo is revealed as he sings a song from the books about Tyrion's relationship with Shae. Arya stops to listen saying she hasn't heard that song before (Ed's cameo didn't take me out of the fantasy world as some watchers complained about) They offer Arya food and a place by their fire and she accepts. The soldiers end up being decent guys who are just doing their job to keep the peace in the region. I half expected Arya to kill the soldiers simply because they serve the Lannisters but to my relief, she didn't.  Our favorite assassin does glance over at their weapons but seems to understand that these men were just pawns of a war that was not theirs and they wanted what most soldiers want; an end to the war so they can get back to their families.

The  Hound is traveling with the Brotherhood Without Banners. They end up at a farmhouse where  he and Arya had stayed at years ago when they were traveling to the Vale in order to ransom Arya off to her Aunt Lysa. The Hound, to Arya's horror, robbed the father and daughter who opened their home to them. When he and the Brotherhood enter the home, they find the skeletons of the man and his daughter. This troubles the Hound as he realizes the man killed his girl and himself to prevent them from starving to death. The Hound realizes his own actions essentially killed them as he had robbed them of what little provisions they had prepared for Winter.

After insulting Thoros of Myr's man bun and telling Beric Dondarrion he was a huge bore, he wonders out loud what made them so special that the Lord of Light has chosen to give Thoros the power to resurrect Beric as many times as he has. He claims that if any justice existed, they would all be dead and the father and his daughter would still be alive. They have no idea why they were chosen but they convince the Hound that whatever the reason, their lives were given a new purpose, one much bigger than themselves. Thoros asks Sandor to look in the flames and the Hound sees the Wall and the threats in the North. In a nod to the Gravedigger Theory familiar to book enthusiasts, they showed the Hound in an act of atonement as he buries the Father and Daughter and holds an awkward vigil over their graves.

The North: Bran sees the White Walker army in a vision and the threat is ominously massive. Meera and Bran make it to the Wall and are heading South to warn of the coming dangers.

Jon is struggling with his new role as King in the North. He and Sansa have been differing in politics and she publicly disagrees with Jon for allowing the Karstarks and Umbers to keep their homes after they betrayed the Starks to fight with the Boltons. Jon explains the traitors of those houses have paid for their treason by dying on the battlefield. He said historically the Karstarks and Umbers have been loyal to House Stark and wants to keep faith with the remaining members of those Houses and unite in the wars to come. Alys Karstark and Ned Umber swear their fealty to House Stark. Littlefinger is lurking in the shadows waiting for his chance to try and manipulate Sansa. Jon talks  privately with Sansa about undermining his decisions but he hears her council.  He explains his position on uniting the North when a raven arrives from Cersei demanding fealty. Sansa warns Jon not to underestimate the Queen and what she is capable of. Jon notes that it sounds like Sansa admires Cersei and Sansa admits she learned a lot from her. Littlefinger is snubbed by Sansa who is getting tired of listening to his schemes and planting doubts in her head.

In the Winterfell yard Tormund flirts with Brienne as she is training Podrick and she takes her frustration out on Pod. Tormund remarks that Pod is a lucky man and it's kind of hilarious.

Kings Landing: Cersei and Jamie are in the Red Keep standing on a freshly painted floor map of Westeros as she plots out plans to take down her enemies. She talks about creating a dynasty with Jamie and he reminds her that all of their children are dead. He wants to talk about them and Cersei shuts him down, explaining how Tommen betrayed them and that while she loved her children there was no point in discussing them. Jamie tries to explain to her they lack allies and that the Dragon Queen is heading to Dragonstone with three grown dragons. Cersei insists they will crush their enemies because they are Lannisters and seems unconcerned.

Euron Greyjoy sails his Greyjoy fleet to make an alliance with Cersei and propose marriage. He has a Jack Sparrow kind of pirate swagger as he mocks Jamie and boasts he is the best captain in the world. Cersei declines his proposal but Euron swears he will bring Cersei a gift that will prove he is worthy of her trust and he won't return to Kings Landing until he has it (at this point I am reasonably certain things won't be ending well for Ellaria Sand,  who murdered Cersei's only daughter, Myrcella).

The Reach: Sam is an acolyte at the Citadel in Oldtown and we are taken through a montage of his disgusting daily work as Sam gags through it each day, etc. Sam asks Archmaester Ebrose about getting access to the restricted book section but is refused. While Ebrose believes Sam about the threat of the White Walkers, he tells a Sam story about the perseverance of the world  and that regardless of times of  war and peace, that everything works out in the end. Sam steals the books he needs and he and Gilly learn that the dragonglass they need to fight the White Walkers is in Dragonstone in abundance. Sam seemingly forgot a conversation he had with Stannis who already told him this but I digress. Jorah Mormont's greyscale rotting arm appears from a quarantined room as we learn he went to the Citadel to fulfill his promise to his Queen to find a cure for his progressive disease.

Dragonstone: Daenerys Targaryen and her army land on Dragonstone, the ancient seat of her family.  We follow her in silence as she takes down the banners Stannis left behind and reclaims what is hers. It is supposed to be a big moment but it lacked in emotion for me. The best part of this scene was getting to see the Painted Table of Westeros again. The episode ends with Dany ready to plot her plans to take back the Seven Kingdoms and she asks her advisors, "Shall we begin?"

I give this episode an B+.

 

Annual Feast of Ice and Fire: A Game of Thrones Season Premiere Tradition

My favorite part of Game of Thrones Season Premiere night is the feast and gathering that preludes it. Waiting until 9pm in the final stretch of the long AGOT drought can be a daunting task so I resolved years ago to eat my way through it and hence, the annual Feast of Ice and Fire was born. Throw in great company, games, food, and tons of tasty drinks, and the countdown to showtime flies by.

We followed the tradition that all guests would bring a Westeros themed dish. As usual our friends and family didn't disappoint. However, my sister Alexandra was the real MVP in helping put the feast together. She is as obsessed with all things ASOIAF  as I am so the feast was bigger (and tastier) than it's been in previous years. She is a fantastic cook and baker. We used some recipes from the Feast of Ice and Fire Cookbook and tried to represent the regions of Westeros and Essos in our dish selections.

Our delicious table

Our menu included (I subjectively categorized the dishes brought by our guests):

The North:

Honeyed Chicken

Lemoncakes  (SO DELICIOUS-My sister outdid herself with these)

The Riverlands:

Miniature Meat Pies (Frey pie, anyone?)

The Reach:

Fresh Fruit 

Buttered carrots

Dorne:

Grape Leaves Salad

Spicy Chicken Dip

Kings Landing:

Cheese and crackers

Heads on Spikes

Spinach and Strawberry Salad

My son rolling heads and my favorite neighbor delivering an awesome pose

The Iron Islands:

Pillaged Sour Ale  

Westerlands: 

Ommegang 'Bend the Knee Honeyed Ale'-Lannister sigil

The Wall:

Lord Commander Mormont inspired Spiced Wine

Dothraki Sea:

Fermented Mare's Milk (White Russian)

Meereen:

Mint Green Tea with Honey

Mint Green Tea, Cheese, Lemoncakes, and Frey Meat Pie made for a fantastic second breakfast the next day

The Feast was a success and ran all the way until showtime. When we finally sat down to watch the show, I couldn't believe the wait was finally over (stay tuned for my review). Next year for the final season, I am going to try making an Iron Throne and the Painted Table of Westeros...Ambitious, I know, but I have the luxury of that ambition at this point. Whether or not my vision will be fully realized, only Bran can tell. One thing I can say for sure, each feast has been more delicious than the last and next year will be no exception.

Awesome Con Review: Washington D.C. June 2017

It has taken me a while to post a review about our time at Washington D.C.'s Awesome Con because of life and summer...and perhaps a little bit of hope that time would lessen the level of frustration the event caused me.

To be fair, I prefer smaller conventions to larger ones. I have gone to PAX East and NYC Comic Con in the past and the crowds were overwhelming; that was my biggest complaint but was to be expected. Awesome Con had a large crowd but my biggest issue was the disorganized organization. I know that sounds contradictory but that's how it was. There were plenty of nice volunteers, there were plenty of lines, but it didn't seem like anyone you asked knew exactly what was going on.

When we first got to the Convention Center early Saturday we took our place in a very long line but it moved rather quickly so I had high hopes for the rest of the day. This feeling quickly changed after we picked up our registration badges. Having arrived early to see a panel discussion with David Tennant (my 8 year old son is a huge fan of the Tenth Doctor and Barty Crouch, Jr.) we were told we needed to wait in the long snaking line that occupied a majority of the registration floor. After noticing the time for the panel was about to start I started getting anxious when the line hadn't moved much. I asked a volunteer if we were in the right line for David Tennant and was told we were and that there were 5000 seats and we should get in no problem. So we waited. As the line snaked around, I began to feel optimistic that we would be seated soon and asked another volunteer to confirm we were in the right place. I was again told we were and that they were sitting VIP patrons first and that once they were seated the rest of us would file in after. So more waiting...

After checking the time again and realizing David Tennant's panel should be halfway through, I asked another volunteer and was told we were NOT in the right line and that there was ANOTHER line for David Tennant's panel against a far wall. At this point I was extremely disappointed that we'd been assured we were in the right line since he was a deciding factor in attending the convention, but I kept my cool. I asked the same volunteer what line we were standing on if it wasn't for David Tennant and was told it was for Stan Lee. I thought, 'Great, that will be a fine alternative and should please my Marvel-loving 8 year old just fine.' So we waited. We were let in to the vendor floor, not a panel room, and chaos seemed to escalate from there. Thinking perhaps the panel room was somewhere on that floor (despite my map contradicting it), we paced the enormous floor to find where Stan Lee's panel might be and we were directed to an autograph area for people who purchased tickets. The autograph and photo-op session was still hours away so I was confused about why 7 different volunteers couldn't direct us to the right line for any panel. We had literally walked close to two miles of convention center to not get to any of our intended destinations. I was frustrated but still determined to have a good time. I decided to buy a ticket for a photo-op with John Barrowman (Doctor Who and Arrow) as a consolation to missing David Tennant's panel discussion. Before getting on line, I asked if I needed cash or a credit card for the photo and was told a card was fine, then was told cash. So my husband waited while I looked for an ATM.

I went to the information booth set up in the middle of the convention floor and asked about the location of an ATM. She pointed me to one that was 30 people deep. I asked if there were any others available and was told she didn't think so. So I got in line and felt my frustrations grow. I then get a text from my husband saying they could take credit cards for photo-ops so I returned to him only to learn that this wasn't the formal photo-op session and that I needed cash after all.

So back to the ATM.This time however, an attendee told us about at least 2 other ATMs nearby and I was able to secure my money quickly and get my photo-op ticket. I was still seething that we had been at Awesome Con for 3 hours and hadn't done anything productive or had any real fun yet. The volunteers were entirely well meaning but unfortunately didn't have a lot of knowledge when asked basic questions about the set up and locations of events.

John Barrowman definitely cheered us up though. He was warm and affectionate during the photo-op and had fantastic energy. Our pic came out awesome too!

Jeremiah, my sister Lexi, John, Jonas, and me

Later, we attended John's panel and it was the BEST. June is Gay Pride Month and John came out wearing white heals and a TARDIS romper. His husband Scott made an appearance too in John's Captain Jack Harkness trench coat and they were great, though a family in front of us with older teenage kids must not have expected John to be openly gay and they decided to leave as his panel was just beginning.  John was forthcoming, vulgar, hysterical, open, honest, and engaging. Much of it went over Jonas' head (Phew!) and he played his Nintendo 3DS but he listened too. We have raised him to know love is love and he has always been very accepting and as supportive as he can be of the gay people in his life. We didn't see any reason to shelter him from John's panel for that reason. John ended his panel with a song, 'You're Too Good to Be True' and it was evident he really loves his fans. He was the best part of the convention for us and afterwards I felt re-energized and continued to have a great time. We took a walk and purchased some posters on the vendor floor, played some games in a vintage and modern video game room, and closed the convention. When we weren't at the convention, we were walking around Washington D.C. taking in the sites and landmarks of our Nation's Capital and getting stamps for our National Parks passport book.

I am glad we went Awesome Con but we will not be returning again. I am going to stick to smaller conventions from now on.

American Gods-A Guide to the Gods Episodes 1& 2

Book cover art by: Robert E. McGinnis

*Before reading, know that spoilers will be forthcoming so read at your own risk if you have not yet watched the first two episodes of the show*

American Gods, the new series on Starz based on Neil Gaiman's book of the same name, is the best thing on TV. A bold statement but it is 100% true. Reading the book, there were times that my visual perception of the beautiful open roads of the Midwest made me feel sad and empty, yet cozy and engulfed in the fantastical mysteries that were unfolding before me. The show maintains that integrity with neon signs, roadside bars, strange shops, and dirty hotel rooms but they added a bit more blood and gore for the gratuitous among us. I absolutely love it.  Go watch it and if you don't love it, you already think I'm a freak for enjoying it, and I can live with that.

The gist of the plot: A man named Shadow Moon is released after serving 3 years in prison. Upon his return to the free world, he learns that life as he once knew it and the best-laid plans lined up when he got out, had been irrevocably changed when he learns his wife, Laura, had died in a car accident prior to his release. Shadow had a job lined up with his best friend Robbie, but learns he died in the same accident with Laura. He now had a sudden need for a job and a new start...again.

He meets an enigmatic man named Mr. Wednesday who provides a solution to these new holes in Shadow's life by offering him a job. Shadow accepts, drinks Wednesday's mead and thus begins the spiral into a new and surreal world...a world on the brink of an existential war between the old gods and the new gods. The old gods powers are waning as less people remember, worship, and fear them. The new gods of technology are gaining traction and are looking to eradicate the old gods from memory by making society more dependent on the technical age. A bit prophetic on the part of Gaiman since the novel was written in 1991 and presently almost everyone has a phone/computer glued to their person at all times. 

The show follows a three part format similar to the book:

Coming to America-The gods of the world came to America on Viking ships and slave boats. They came with the stories and the cultures of people from hundreds of places, over thousands of years. The gods were powerful then because they were worshiped and their people still prayed and sacrificed to them. In short, the gods were not only remembered and revered, they were feared and spoke of often.

Somewhere in America-Depicts the fate of the gods in modern times when they lose their relevance as a result of society finding more solace in technology than in dogma. Instead of being offered worship, gifts, and sacrifice, the forgotten gods are now found in seedy motel rooms, drunken brawls, and dead in ditches.

Present Day-A war is brewing between the old gods and the new gods. It follows Shadow's perception of the unbelievable turn his life has taken since getting our of prison and meeting Mr. Wednesday. Shadow, ever likable and mostly trustworthy, is important to the recruitment of old gods as he and Wednesday make their way through America pleading the case for war, the struggle to remain relevant, and the right for the gods to exist.


So who are these old gods we have seen so far in episodes 1 & 2? 

Odin: Mr. Wednesday didn't just choose this name because that was the day of week it happened to be when Shadow asked him. Wednesday comes from Wodensday, which was so named in Odin's honor. He is the All-father of the gods in Nordic mythology (like Zeus in Greek myth) and famously gave one of his eyes to drink the water of all wisdom. He is of the Aesir of Asgard which is located in the Tree of Life or Yggdrasil.He is a god of war first but also of magic, wisdom, and poetry. He has been known to be fickle in deciding outcomes for battles and often requires great human sacrifices in order to win his favor. He has two ravens, Huginn (Thought) and Muninn (Memory) that scout the world over to bring information to Odin. He is the father of famous Nordic gods such as Thor, Baldur, and Hod. He is said to have sacrificed himself to himself in the Tree of Life or Yggdrasil, the ultimate sacrifice of a god to a god which only made him more gifted as a result.


Bilquis: aka Queen of Sheba (of Ethiopia), Makeda was a  biblical figure and rumored to be half human and half demon. It is the demon inside of her that was said to have a ravenous vagina. There are a lot of conflicting stories about her origins and life that vary from culture to culture. All agree, she was considered a powerful woman equal to any man. She was wise, entrancing, and magnetic. She may or may not have been a consort to  King Solomon, which resulted in a son. Bilquis in the book found her *worshippers* via prostitution. Bilquis on the show was empowered, sexual, and beautiful. A Goddess worthy of worship...men and women both were only too happy to be eaten by her vagina.

Loki: A Norse trickster who is both a friend and thorn to the Nordic gods. It is debated whether he is of the Aesir (like Odin, Thor, etc) or the Giants but I don't subscribe to the notion he is a god. God-like, perhaps but definitively a trickster in my humble opinion. Many of his tricks backfired and it always seemed one god or another was looking to blame or kill him for something. He seems to *right* his wrongs by causing more conflict and bargaining his life. He always narrowly escapes death with trickery or shape-shifting skills but eventually his deeds seal his terrible fate and start the beginning of the end of days known as  Ragnarok. The book and the show refer to Loki as Low-Key Lyesmith. He was a friend of Shadow's while they were both in prison.


Anansi: A west African trickster. He is a spider and like many mythical tricksters, he is also a shape-shifter.  He isn't a god but is a liaison to the sky god. He can be deceptive and tricky but is also wise, quick tempered, and a smooth talker similar to Loki of Nordic myth. According to my 8 year old son, Anansi doesn't like to share and likes to eat be invited to feasts so he can eat lots of food. He is invited to a feast by a turtle who tricks Anansi by bringing all the tasty food beneath the water where Anansi the spider can't get it. The book and the show will refer to Anansi as Mr. Nancy.


Mad Sweeney: Depending on the source, Mad Sweeney was a leprechaun that guarded an ancient rock in Ireland for thousands of years and his madness gave him power. In other stories, he is based on the legend of Buile Suibhne, or the Frenzy of Suibhne/Sweeney. Suibhne, is the son of the king of Dal Riada (a kingdom in northern Ireland) and is driven mad by a curse. In the book and show, despite the usual depiction of leprechauns as small creatures, Mad Sweeney is very tall. He is a drunk with a bad temper and is tethered to a gold coin that he accidentally gave Shadow after a bar fight. Shadow tosses it in his wife Laura's grave and the plot thickens as Mad Sweeney realizes getting the coin back will be no easy feat.


Zorya Sisters: The 3 Slavic goddesses charged with watching the chained dog in the stars that is always trying to escape and devour the constellation, Ursa Minor (the Bear). If this should happen, it will be the end of the world and the universe itself. The Zorya sisters are Utrennyaya, the morning star, Vechernyaya, the evening star, and Polunochnaya, the midnight star. In the book/show the sisters live with Czernobog in Chicago and in between their shifts, they earn money telling fortunes.

Czernobog: A Slavic god of death and darkness. Violence and chaos surround him. His name is Russian for *black god*. He is related to Bielebog the god of light and life who is opposite to Czernobog in every way. Sometimes they are considered two aspects of one person but this varies from story to story. In the book and show he lives in Chicago with the Zorya sisters and kills cattle with a sledge hammer for a living.
 

Spoilers-I want to revisit this in more detail at a later time but wanted to touch on it on a surface level but it may lead to some connections (i.e. parentage, etc.) that you might not want to make yet.

Shadow: I didn't actually know that Gaiman confirmed he had based Shadow on the Norse god, Baldur. A friend of mine read the novella, 'Monarch of the Glen,  a short sequel to 'American Gods' and she said it was confirmed in that story (which was published in a short story anthology by Neil Gaiman called 'Fragile Things'. While I have read several of the stories published in the anthology, that one surprisingly escaped me. So I was actually a little proud of myself that I made the *Shadow=Baldur* deduction on my own even if it wasn't generally a new idea. Granted, the idea came to me while reading Neil's version of 'Norse Mythology' and not from the more classic Nordic tales I have read, but I digress. While I was reading 'Norse Mythology'  I thought of Shadow whenever I read a Baldur tale, though I wasn't sure why. When I started to think about it, it made perfect sense. But I will revisit those ideas in a future post since this one is long enough already.

More guides to the gods and thoughts on the show/book to come as season one progresses (and I have the time to post about them). Feel free to expand past my brief descriptions too...there are so many wonderful stories, myths, and legends to explore.

Also, if you haven't already read Neil Gaiman's 'American Gods', you should.

The Death of My Father: An Estranged Daughter's Remembrance

 Robert "Boogie" David Napolitano

12/18/47-4/26/2017

My favorite recent picture of my father.

My father had his demons. He had his light and he had his darkness. Like anyone worth remembering and talking about, my father was so damn interesting. He loved to sing and dance so everyone called him Boogie. He was a Golden Glove Champion Boxer and  a founding member of his Doo Wop group, The Embury's, who attracted the attention of the New York Times and have thousands of views on YouTube (my dad sings bass).

I remember hearing a quote once, I think it might have been Barack Obama referencing his own relationship with his father but I can't be sure, it said (paraphrasing a little), 'I was more defined by my father's absence than I was by his presence.'  That always resonated inside of me as I got older and I tried to piece together the enigmatic legend that my father was. Growing up, I knew my mother left my father because of his drug addiction. I also knew that anytime I wrote a poem or a story, my mom would be sure to tell me that I get those abilities from my father...she would tell me I got all the good qualities my father had and I built that up in my mind when I needed to feel connected to the magnitude the DNA code has in the creation of every human being. It made me feel closer to him somehow in the years my brother Michael and I didn't see him or speak with him much.

My father lived in Florida during my childhood and came back to New Jersey when I was around 19 or 20 years old. I would waiver petulantly in my readiness to have a relationship with him when he returned. It has always been difficult for me to let people into my life and I had an even more difficult barrier to get past when it came to my father. He seemed like a familiar stranger that I loved and resented in no particular order. I preferred the legend, the stories passed down from my mother and my father's family. The truth was so much more complicated. I had grown accustomed to my estrangement with my father and did not know how to get what I thought I was looking for in his company.  My inability to be in the present was my greatest shortcoming when it came to my relationship with my dad; I wanted him to be something he wasn't. I was envious of my brother Michael's ability to embrace people as they are and not what he expected them to be. I've realized, as I have gotten older, that the heart of unhappiness is expectations...expectations nurture and fertilize disappointment.

Portrait of my father

After my son was born, I used to bring him around to see my father. Jonas called him PopPop. My brother Michael was living with our dad then and I used to love walking the boardwalks of Ocean Grove with them. It felt like, through Jonas, I was able to achieve the connection with my dad that I always felt lacked in reality. The first time my husband met my father, he was singing with his Doo Wop group, The Embury's in a park in Ocean Grove. I felt ridiculously proud of the amount of people that showed up to see my father sing his signature bass. Still, between visits we didn't talk regularly. I always sent him updated pics of Jonas and our family and my brother used to tell me my father kept our pictures by his TV where he could always see them. My mom used to tell me that my father loved us 'in his own way' and I always struggled with what that meant and the mystery of it haunted me throughout my entire life.

I wasn't at my father's side when he passed. I was in denial, despite my brother informing me, of how grave my father's cancer had become. I anticipated regret but somehow I found acceptance. I realized that in spite of everything and because of everything, that I was still my father's daughter. During the times we spent together (especially after Jonas was born), there was real joy there. This man had planted the seed that would become my life. My beautiful, tormented, complicated, and amazing life. He is a definitive part of me despite all the things we never resolved. I'm so grateful for that now.

I was nervous to attend my father's memorial. After all, I hadn't seen many people from that side of my family in a very long time. I needn't have worried. It was a great celebratory gathering and my father's legendary status has been immortalized through SO MANY awesome stories that described the best of who my father was. He knew everyone. He embodied the very essence of 'the good ol' days' and the aura of nostalgia in the room was not lost on me.

RIP Boogie, you deserve it.

(Re)Generation Who Convention 2017

I didn't get around to making a timely review of the fantastic time we had at the (Re)Generation Who Convention in Baltimore, Maryland on March 24-26th so read the best recap over at my friend Josh's superior blog

(Left to Right) Josh, Jen W., Jen A., Dave, Me, Jeremiah

I am going to highlight my favorite parts of the convention in a list of no particular order with pictures where applicable.

1. Josh W.'s panel about his story, Forever Fallen, which was the winner of Big Finish's Short Trip story contest. Josh explained the concept of the story from it's origins to it's completion and his presentation was well received by attendees. It was a great panel for storytellers in general, both made and aspiring. 

   

   Josh during his Panel

2. The Doctor Who dance party. Dancing with strangers and friends. I love that my friend Jen W. still came down with me on Saturday night despite being exhausted from her work event and long solo ride to the con. Also, many people do the Time Warp wrong and that was sad.
   
3. The Sylvester McCoy panels. He is so energetic and entertaining and my bold and incredible husband Jeremiah, was lucky enough to get to speak to him.

   

   Sylvester McCoy and Jeremiah

4. Going to Fort McHenry with Jen and Dave. A lot of cool history to be appreciated though my weirdness about the smell of old things kept me from fully enjoying the indoor barracks. 
   
   
   

   

   Jen and Dave

   
   
   
5. Meeting our friends, Ryan and Rob, out for dinner on Saturday night.
6. The times we spent drinking and laughing in our hotel rooms. 
7. Jen W.'s Weeping Angel cosplay. Josh jokes that she stole the show from him, a published Big Finish Author with his own convention panel, and he isn't wrong. I mean, look at her!
   
   
8. More times we spent drinking and laughing in our hotel rooms.
9. Playing Heads Up, learning about each other's guilty pleasures (erotica, Riverdale, Jeremiah's homoerotic hair, and many more interesting points of discovery came up). 
10. Being in Baltimore for an adults-only weekend with my favorite friends and the best husband in the world by my bias definition, Jeremiah.

    

    Love this man to bits!

    

How do you Zelda?

The open world of Hyrule is more vast than ever and the versatility of doing things your own way has never been better. My particular game play is slow. I like games to be a journey, not a conquest. Beating the game is important to me on an eventual basis but what makes Breath of the Wild so great is that you get to choose the difficulty level you are ready for and go from there. For me, I have poor hand/eye coordination so I always struggle with timing, defending myself against attacks, and direct combat with mini-bosses and dungeon bosses. The more I play and the more I approach minor foes on the dangerous roads of Hyrule, the better I become with the controls, setting me up with the skills to defeat those bigger bosses. But my favorite part of playing Zelda has always been the puzzles, figuring things out, and the sense of discovery I get just by walking around. After talking with a few people who are as consumed with playing Breath of the Wild as I am, my favorite discovery is that there are no two gaming experiences that are alike.

This is how I Zelda....

I open the game and decide, based on where I left off, what I want to accomplish.

Am I one or two Shrines away from 4 Spirit Orbs so I can get more stamina or another heart container? If so Shrines might be my focus. There are 120 of them so your Shrine detector should go off fairly often.

Have I learned about some awesome new clothes to protect myself against high heat and blistering cold? Then I might make the treacherous trek to Goron City or Rito Village.

Am I in the mood to feel *accomplished*? Then I go to the Villages and treat myself to some simple side quests that are easily finished in a short amount of time. I also like to work on my cooking skills when I visit the villages. A good dish could be the difference between life and death on the treacherous  roads ahead.

Are the uncharted parts of the map causing me to forget my way? If so, finding and climbing Towers might be my focus so I can unlock more of the map. This is actually my favorite thing to do. I have a full color version of the map that came with the walkthrough book I bought for collecting purposes, but I rarely consult it. I love figuring this stuff out for myself and I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when another area of the map is revealed to me.

Am I trying to earn more rupees for buying better armor, such as ancient armor from Akkala Tech Lab? Then a scavenger game might be my goal...climbing mountains to find precious ore, fighting minor foes to get monster parts, selling cooked dishes, etc. The high cost for ancient gear will help you better protect yourself against those pesky Guardians. I always try to have a few ancient arrows to better destroy the difficult Guardians from a distance (these helped A LOT on the road to Death Mountain).

Do I want to work on the main quest without committing to it? I might try exploring the map to find locations of Captured Memories, an optional main quest that helps Link, through a series of pictures, remember who he is after his 100 year slumber. I found 5 or 6 so far. Hint: Talk to the painter, Pikango, in the villages and stables around Hyrule and he will give you clues on how to find nearby Captured Memories (this optional main quest unlocks via Impa in Kakariko Village and a trip to the Hateno Tech Lab).

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Then there are the times that I open the game and I don't have specific plan but just let it lead me wherever. This has led to countless happy accidents such as visiting Rito Village and defeating Divine Beast Vah Medoh. I had originally planned to gear up and then make my way to each Divine Beast and defeat them before facing Calamity Ganon but I decided to just go with this Divine Beast quest since I was already there and those Rito folk are just so persuasive. This was a relatively easy dungeon once you figure out that tilting the aircraft is essential to help solve puzzles that unlock the Sheikah terminals. Windblight Ganon is the dungeon boss and from someone with game control issues, I didn't find him to be too difficult despite his menacing appearance.

Another accidental discovery was the Fang and Bone Shop. I kept hearing about this shop through the Hateno Village/Stable folk. It is a shop that is only open at night, and sells cool things in exchange for Mon currency (which is attained by selling monster parts). I couldn't seem to locate the Fang and Bone at first but eventually I followed some clues to Skull Lake and talked to Kilton the shop owner which then 'unlocks the shop'. Now I can take advantage of Kilton's cool wares any night I'm near a village. Some cool purchases I have made so far are a Bokoblin Mask and a Moblin Mask. These allow me to blend in with the monsters and get close enough to attack while these monsters are off guard.

As Takuhiro Dohta of Nintendo said:
"This game had a lot of technical strong points, such as the vast and seamless world, but what I most want players to notice is how each player has their own unique game play experience. When we were creating the game, we created it so that the player can do almost anything that they want to do. There is no 'correct' way to play this game, so I hope that you all find a play style that you enjoy."

I couldn't agree more. Zelda has always been as much a game based on discovery as it has been about the puzzles, bosses, dungeons, etc. Whether it is finding Korok seeds or discovering a new way to do something, this game has enchanted me and I look forward to sharing more of my gaming experiences and hopefully  learning more about how other game fans *like to Zelda*. Feel free to contact me to share your stories.



Note: Photos are not my own and are used for reference only. 

Logan: A Very Spoilery Recap and Review

Wolverine has always been my favorite mutant, and while my comic knowledge for X-men is surface level, I really love (for the most part) the direction Marvel has been going with their films and original series. I can't get enough of the gritty, dark, and tortured protagonists that live in morally gray areas. Hugh Jackman as Logan has delivered this criteria for 17 years and doesn't disappoint in the newest installment. The 'R' rating was appropriate and refreshing though my 7 year old would adamantly disagree, always hating to miss anything Marvel.

It's set in the near-future and Logan is a chauffeur trying to live under the radar near the Mexican border after the mutant race faced near extinction. This was largely due to Dr. Rice's, head of the Weapon X program, genetic tampering through food and water to ensure no new mutants were born. His plan was to create his own military-styled mutant weapons that could be controlled and sell them to the highest bidder.

The movie opens with Logan napping in his car when some Adamantium-claw-fodder start trying to steal Logan's tires. He gets out of the car and warns them to stop and this leads to generic criminals doing what generic criminals do and Logan makes quick skewers out of them (so much for staying under the radar). Logan goes home where he sullenly hands Caliban (a surviving albino mutant played by Stephen Merchant) a necessary seizure medicine for Charles (Patrick Stewart) that controls his degenerative brain disease, before pouring himself a drink. A few years prior,  Charles (Professor X) had a seizure that, due to the power of his mind, killed mutants and many humans in Westchester, NY and was cause enough for the government to label his brain a weapon of mass destruction. Logan and Caliban have been on the run or in hiding ever since while taking care of a crotchety version of Charles (Professor X), who reminded me of the ornery old man most of us have in our own families. Except when Charles has a bad day and doesn't want to take his medicine, he ends up paralyzing and killing people by accident.

To complicate matters, a young girl Laura (Dafne Keen) born in the Transigen Corporation as a mutant of the X-23 experiment, lands on Logan's doorstep .She had been smuggled out of the program by a compassionate nurse who was appalled to learn the child mutants were going to be killed as a result of a "failed experiment". The nurse died as a result of her interference. Dr. Rice, head of Transigen Corp, sends his Reavers, led by a cyborg named Pierce (Boyd Holbrook), to track and capture Laura so she can be eliminated. They find her in Logan's care.

Things become even more complicated when Logan discovers Laura is a *Girlverine* and shares his DNA, essentially making him her father. While the Adamantium in his own body is poisoning and weakening Logan, the use of it was perfected in Laura and she is every bit as lethal as her *father* used to be without the long term effects. Logan hasn't embraced father-of-the-year status and is gruff and put out by Laura's presence while Charles is much kinder and develops a special bond with her. Logan, while trying (and not trying) to stay sober, bears the weight of keeping Charles and Laura alive and safe while they are being hunted nonstop by Reavers with lots of big guns.

Logan is tasked with getting Laura to *Eden*, a place in North Dakota near the Canadian border that she believes will be a safe stop for her and the escaped children of X-23 to stay before they seek approved asylum in Canada. When Logan finds that Laura discovered the coordinates for this place in an old X-men comic book, he tries to convince her the story was widely exaggerated and her journey is futile, but to no avail. So they continue on their quest.

Comic was designed as a movie prop and doesn't correlate with the actual comics but was an awesome inclusion

The Reavers are always hot on their trail but Logan, Laura, and Charles stay a step ahead because of Caliban (he was taken hostage because of his tracking abilities) providing *faulty* intelligence to the cronies of Transigen Corp. The 3 of them end up having dinner with a family they helped on the road and are invited to stay for the night. Logan doesn't want to but Charles insists it will be good for all of them and this leads to the tragic death of the family and Charles. Pierce and his Reavers bring Dr. Rice's new mutant "Wolverine" who is stronger and devoid of any human emotions to kill anyone who got in the way of capturing Laura (and he does) but Laura and Logan get away and Charles dies from the injuries he sustained. 

After Laura and Logan bury Charles, they get back on the road and it is clear that the connection between them is beginning to unnerve him and he wants to get her to safety and then abandon her. Logan has lost everyone he has ever cared about and the feelings he has for his daughter are reminding him of that.  They reach Eden and the X-23 children are there and preparing to run to the Canadian border. Logan is in a  healing sleep and Laura enjoys a moment of childhood with her friends as they shave Logan's beard to resemble the traditional Wolverine mutton chops and it is actually kind of hysterical.

Of course Dr. Rice and his Reavers discover the children and it becomes a new kind of battle as the mutants use their awesome gifts to defend themselves against the heavily armed cyborg men and get to the Canadian border where they cannot be harmed. Logan decides he can't abandon Laura after all, and when he sees drones tracking the kids he drinks a elixir that gives his weakening body temporary strength and resolves to go down in a blaze of glory to save his daughter and the remaining mutant children. We are spared the cliche 'I love yous' as Logan dies in Laura's arms but are given a more tear-jerking 'So this is what it feels like?' as Laura sobs with the knowledge that her father sacrificed himself to save her. While this was a predictable outcome, the effect was not lost on me. Perhaps the most poignant moment of the movie was when Laura eulogized her father with a fitting quote from the 1950's Western "Shane" that she connected with after watching it on a hotel television:

“There’s no living with a killing. There’s no going back from it. Right or wrong, it’s a brand, a brand that sticks. There’s no going back. Now, you run on home to your mother and tell her, tell her everything’s alright, and there aren’t any more guns in the valley.”

With that, Laura tilts the wooden cross that marks Logan's grave to make it an *X* and she and the children of X-23 walk away to continue their journey to Canada. Laura is just fantastic and I absolutely love the idea of a spin-off of the X-23 kids and her rising as the new Wolverine. Closing credits roll and Johnny Cash's cover of Nine Inch Nails, "Hurt" plays and I'm unhinged and crying my eyes out. Jeremiah and I talked about it for the rest of the night and hands down,  "Logan" is my all-time favorite Wolverine movie ever...perhaps even my favorite X-Men movie ever. It's a must-see, a solid 9/10!

Game of Thrones Live Concert Experience Review-Philadelphia 2/26/17 (Minor Spoilers)

I knew the Game of Thrones Live Concert Experience featuring Ramin Djawadi was going to be good but also feared it might be a little gimmicky since die-hard Thrones fans are known to throw their money at anything that provides a fix during the dark days without new Westeros material. After all, we are still months away from the Season 7 premiere and who knows how long until the 6th book, Winds of Winter, is released.  While the live concert did provide a fresh fix, it was not gimmicky at all. The stage set was beautiful and the musicians were so very talented. I read that a few of the instruments played during the concert were invented specifically for the live show. Some other types of instruments played (ones I can name anyway) included: piano, violin, cello, dulcimer, organ, percussion, horns, didgeridoo, etc.  It was an astounding performance and well worth going to see.

The show opens with the white raven of winter's coming flying across the 3 screens followed by a visual of the Doom of Valyria, swords clanking around in the vortex-like storm. This leads us into the Game of Thrones theme song where a large screen with two 3-tiered screens on either side proudly displays the sigils of the great (and feuding) houses of Westeros. Cheers explode as the audience cheers for their favorite houses. Targaryen and Stark gets the loudest support. I wasn't alone when I hooted ascent for the Lannister's but I definitely lacked support in my section. This part of the concert felt like being at a Medieval Times dinner show. In a good way. While the sigils are being displayed, the center screen lifts to reveal an Iron Throne on the main stage. The orchestra is revealed beneath one of the tiered screens and the show officially begins with a bang.

The first House theme played is Goodbye Brother-House Stark. The center screen displays a montage of the Starks in various stages leading to their downfall. A Weirwood tree takes the circular stage using the 3-tiered screen for the tree canopy and a gossamer fabric for the trunk. The violin soloist is at the *heart* of the tree, playing the haunting song from the inside as winter comes, and red leaves and snow begin to fall.

The next House theme played is What is Dead May Never Die-House Greyjoy. A solo cellist plays the Kraken's song on a wet stage as *waves* come up around her. Scenes highlighting the Greyjoy family are played but I'm a bit distracted by a woman who is talking loudly about how different the Greyjoy plotline is in the books. It annoys me, as we paid good money to hear a concert and not her opinion about book to show differences. I get it, Lady...I've read the books too but truthfully, no storyline was more butchered by the show than the poor Martells and I'm not complaining, so let me listen to the beautiful cellist do her thing and save your gripes for a more appropriate setting.

Next is Rains of Castamere, the song about how Tywin Lannister extinguished House Reyne of Castamere for testing and disrespecting House Lannister following the death of Tywin's father. It is often played in Westeros in admiration (and fear) of Tywin and the Lannister family's strength and guile. A soloist in a Lannister crimson gown sang the lyrics beautifully. The piano was the perfect accompaniment and as the song built around the chorus, the rest of the symphony joined in while the soloist belted out the climax of the song. The effect was captivating.

Rains of Castamere by George R.R. Martin

The next couple of songs, Reign and Sons of the Harpy, showcase Daenerys' rise to becoming the Mother of Dragons, Queen of Meereen, and hopeful conquerer of the Seven Kingdoms. This is followed by a song titled Needle which highlights Arya's journey from Westeros to Braavos. I couldn't help thinking I wished the show had consolidated Arya's Braavos story arc as efficiently as the song did but I digress.

I forget exactly where it was on the set list, but Jon Snow's theme, Now My Watch Has Ended, played to scenes of his resurrection.  After Sansa makes her way to the Wall to seek help from her *brother* Jon Snow (R+L=J), we are reminded that the Starks are still in the fight. Iconic scenes from the Battle of the Bastards episode play with the music as Sansa and Jon rally the North (and the Vale) to take Winterfell back from Ramsay Bolton. This transitions into Bran Stark scenes where, through his visions, he learns the part his warging (taking temporary possession of Hodor)  had in Hodor's death. The violin during Hold the Door was tear-jerking as we watched Hodor 'hold the door' to the Weirwood entrance (dying as a result of his sacrifice) so crippled Bran and Meera could escape the tree which had been infiltrated by White Walkers (aka The Others) and Wights (the army of the dead raised by the Others). 

The Light of the Seven score was a perfect lead up to the Winds of Winter finale. The execution of Cersei's scheme to blow up the Great Sept of Baelor with wildfire while all of her enemies are inside of it, left me on the edge of my seat despite the fact I knew it was coming.  Ramin Djawadi himself was on piano for this song. I loved how, as the music began to build, Queen Margaery realizes something is gravely wrong. She notes Cersei's (and King Tommen's) absence from her own trial despite the consequences and pleads with the High Septon to evacuate the Sept. The chaos unfolds over an ominous organ and when the Sept goes up in green flames, so does the stage around the piano. Just. Wow.

The show closes with Winds of Winter and reminds us that war and political power are distractions to the real threat unfolding north of the Wall...the war between the living and the dead (White Walkers and their dead army). The music here feels victorious and foreboding at the same time. Like the show, the concert ties in scenes to remind us where all of the characters leave off in Season 6.

Ramin Djawadi comes out to center stage to thank the audience for coming, shows a GOT Season 7 teaser, and concludes the concert with a Memorandum to the characters we lost on the show to the upbeat Westeros tune, The Bear and the Maiden Fair. I was grateful that I had rightly figured the concert experience would be PG since we had already decided it would be suitable for my 7 year old to attend. It was a totally kid-friendly intro to Game of Thrones!  I was excited about his enthusiasm during the show and loved answering his questions about the series (he favors the Starks/Direwolves) that the concert inspired. It was a great time for all of us and I was glad I could experience the story in a whole new way through the music with the people I love most. My one complaint, 2+ hours went by entirely too fast.

Some cool facts about the production of Game of Thrones Live Concert Experience