Secret Life of Pets. Didn't love it...didn't hate it. Blah.

Jeremiah and I took Jonas to see the Secret Life of Pets last Saturday. I had high expectations since we had seen the trailer countless times over the last year and it always had us laughing. It had a great comic cast, such as Louis C.K. performing the voice of Max the spoiled terrier and Kevin Hart performing the voice of Snowball, the crazed rabbit who led the unwanted animals of the NYC underworld.

The premise of the story is about a pampered terrier named Max, who lives in bliss with his owner Kate. His world is turned upside down when Kate brings home a big, awkward, rescue dog named Duke (Eric Stonestreet). Max is outraged by this new addition and the two dogs are at competitive odds for territory. Max's goal is to try to get rid of Duke and during a trip to the dog park their rivalry leads them astray and they are accosted by alley cats and are then picked up by animal control. A rabbit named Snowball, who dislikes domestic pets, rescues Max and Duke from the truck and in exchange asks that they join his underground gang of disposed animals and pets. They agree but are found out to be domestic pets and narrowly escape Snowball's pursuit. Meanwhile, Gidget (Jenny Slate), Max's Pomeranian neighbor who has a big crush on him, rallies up the pets from their apartment building for a rescue mission. The rescue squad includes an apathetic cat named Chloe (Lake Bell) and a carnivorous falcon named Tiberius (Albert Brooks) and a bunch more characters whose names I've already forgotten. The rest of the movie is as predictable as expected, Max and Duke learn to accept each other, Gidget and her friends come to the rescue, and even Snowball abandons his pursuit to save the day.

I loved the idea of our pets having this double life that their humans weren't a part of and really thought the movie would be better. Jonas said he liked the it, especially Snowball, but I don't know if he will ask to see it again. Unfortunately, and I think my husband agrees, the movie just lacked heart. I desperately wanted to connect to Max and Duke's journey home and their learning to accept each other but found I was trying too hard to love SLoP when it was just okay. As I feared, the funniest parts of the movie were in the theatrical trailer and while I did chuckle a long the way, overall, Secret Life of Pets fell flat.

It had its moments, it wasn't horrible...it just wasn't memorable.

The beauty of boredom, digital addiction, and the productive cure to save us all

“I'm the idiot box. I'm the TV. I'm the all-seeing eye and the world of the cathode ray. I'm the boob tube. I'm the little shrine the family gathers to adore.'
'You're the television? Or someone in the television?'
'The TV's the altar. I'm what people are sacrificing to.'
'What do they sacrifice?' asked Shadow.
'Their time, mostly,' said Lucy. 'Sometimes each other.' She raised two fingers, blew imaginary gunsmoke from the tips. Then she winked, a big old I Love Lucy wink.
 -Neil Gaiman, American Gods

 I resist the urge to begin with 'back in the old days before smart phones...' and yet, that is precisely what I want to say.

I have forgotten the joys of being  properly bored. Boredom meant, finding something to lose myself in. Feeling bored meant possibilities.

Of course I have excuses when I turn to the convenience of electronic devices...

Excuse #1: I need to do something mindless.
Hence, a good book takes a backseat to Candy Crush.
Excuse #2: I go on Facebook to keep in touch with people.
Well sure, except I don't see many real updates. It is becoming harder to come across the stuff worth seeing with the flood of  'perfect Memes' that people post to sum up the truth of their lives.

Some examples I came across this week:

The girl who accepts being shit on

The girl who perpetually dates guys who cheat.

The idiot who has no idea who either of these shoppers are and whether they have jobs or not.

Can we ALL take a moment to acknowledge that this maniac could be president and people I am acquainted with openly support him?

The witty voter who has clearly never watched a Nova special.

I'm not without guilt; I'm not above posting memes. Sometimes I see something hilarious and it reminds me that the internet is still a fantastic universe to be a part of...in moderation.

I love a good worldly experience.

I look sooo much younger since buying my magic necklace!!!!

Excuse #3: The internet is a great place to stay on top of the news.
True most of the time but sometimes by the time I get through all the pop-up ads and click bait, I've lost the desire to read the article.

Bottom line: My excuses are unsatisfying and unconvincing. There is no refund of the sand we waste. I'm part of a culture that perpetuates a cycle of lazy stimulation. Though I'm not nearly as tethered to my phone as some,  I'm still guilty and part of the problem. I'm feeding the beast and it isn't providing much nourishment in return.

I go back to the root of what boredom used to do for me before I had a smart phone. I like that version of me more. I'm far more productive, more interested, less self absorbed. I do things that matter to me...

• I read more books.
• I write more.
• I work on my photography.
• I complete jigsaw puzzles.
• I keep my living space comfortable and tidy.
• I have better conversations. 
• I procrastinate less.
• I step outside of my comfort zone.
• I appreciate my surroundings.
• I make things (like dragon eggs)

The internet is an extraordinary place. It connects us all and yet, it disconnects us as well (watch people at restaurants to validate that). So what do I do? How can I learn to love the digital world and still appreciate the value of boredom?

For me it is practicing conscious detachment. When I get home from work I try to remember to put my phone by my bedside instead of keeping it close to me. Even small bouts of detachment make a big difference in the way I spend my time.

Final thoughts: I welcome boredom and its productive cure.  I will kill it on my own terms. Look out for flying books.

Imaginary friends and other real things

I never want to forget Jonas' imaginary friends. He has been friends with them for about 3 years now. They adapt themselves according to Jonas' current interests so here is the latest update:

Jack, 10 years old
Looks like Jonas
Plays video games rated T for Teens.
Jonas and Jack are like brothers

Henry, 17 years old
Looks like Jeremiah except he has Justin Beiber's hair
Wears a black t-shirt with a red-orange skull and a blue bandana
Likes to play M rated video games
Works at Starbucks or McDonalds

Johnny, 20 years old
Looks like his Uncle R.J. except without a beard and mustache
Wears a shirt with Reaper from Overwatch on it
Likes to play M rated video games
Works at Burger King

Aspirations born at the bay...full Steam(punk) ahead

We had an enchanting weekend. It was one of those weekends that makes you rethink your priorities and sort them out in the vein of dreams. My debts are close to being paid off. Jeremiah covers our mortgage and we share utilities. As of right now, I save for vacations and extras (Christmas, birthdays, etc.)

So why shouldn't I dream of our very own vacation home. It wouldn't be an expensive one...it would just have to have 3 criteria.

1. It will have to be waterfront.
2. It will have to have a garage and 2 bathrooms.
3. It will need to be within 10 minutes drive of my sister, Anna.

We have always lived below our means. When we bought our house in Phillipsburg, NJ our idea was we would live there, pay off our mortgage in a record time of about 15 years, and use our house as an investment rental property either down the road for Jonas to make some extra money on, or to keep living in it and banking our money for somewhere that would be our dream home.We are doing a combination of both of those things. The bottom line is I don't see myself in Phillipsburg forever. It isn't a bad place to live or anything but I would eventually like to go back to my roots and head to South Jersey again. Besides, it is where my family is and I am super close to them.

My sister Anna and her fiance, R.J. just moved down to Osborne Island (Little Egg Harbor) couple of months ago. When we were there visiting this past weekend I just thought of all the things I didn't want to miss out on a regular basis...their children, random get-togethers, being able to help them out, etc. After our house is paid off in the next 7-10 years it will be great to have income from our renters helping us with the mortgage at our vacation home turned permanent home. In the meantime we will have a place to go on weekends and throughout the summer. Kayaks, jet skis, crabbing, biking at our own vacation spot???? YES PLEASE! I even have some pretty awesome ideas for decorating our new place...I am going to work on getting a piece here and a piece there to really alleviate the expense of it. Here are couple of ideas for my Steampunk nautical theme...We will also have a huge map of Westeros and a Game of Thrones themed room too, because, obviously.

It is funny how motivated Jer and I can be when it comes to pursing our dreams.  I suffer from depression and anxiety and sometimes that can be debilitating in the day to day interactions with other people but give me a goal, a tangible goal, and I can be unstoppable.  Couple that with Jeremiah's shared enthusiasm and it is pretty much in the bag.

Here are some pictures from our weekend with my family. I kinda look at these pics as the dieters version of pinning up their ideal body onto the fridge to remind them of their goals when ever they open the fridge. These pics will keep me focused on my dreams. Our dreams. Jer, Jonas, and mine.

Beach cruising

Backyard views by night

Backyard views by day

Kayaking in the Bay

Crabby Boys

My goal facilitator, supporter, and constant companion

Happy Birthday to Jeremiah!!!!

Lots of women have great husbands...but I am married to the best. 100%. Period.

Today is Jeremiah's birthday so I think it's only right that I gift him with a list of some of his awesome qualities:

• He is kind and generous.
• He is always putting others needs before his own.
• He is an excellent Father raising our son to be intelligent, thoughtful, and capable.
• He is an excellent husband, always affectionate, always patient, and always there for me.
• He is receptive and can connect to almost anyone.
• He is always willing to give a helping hand.
• He brings people out of their shells (myself included). 
• He is appreciative and gracious
• He is consistent and not subjected to moodiness and petulance (very unlike me)
• He makes others feel appreciated.
• He can change brakes, change tires, widdle things out of wood, and other handy qualities.
• He writes amazing things to me, I especially love his haiku's.
• He is supportive of his friends and family.
• He is brave and is never afraid to try new things.
• He never thinks he is better than anyone else.
• He puts himself out there and talks just as easily to strangers as he does to a life-long friend.
• He is a good cook and baker.
• He is conscientious and considerate.
• He is great host on his podcast The Loaded Couch.
• He is rare, helpful, and makes my life easier. All the time.

I could go on and on. He is just one of those exceptional human beings that makes me feel like a better person just by knowing him.  To be married to him, to have earned love from someone like him, that is truly remarkable. After more than 11 years, I still can't wrap my head around what I did to get so lucky.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEREMIAH JONAS!!!! I love you more than the Sun.